Exactly a month ago, I landed in Amsterdam for a semester abroad. Annoyed with me yet? Don’t worry, I hate myself too.
Just kidding! BUT come on, let me have my fun. This is probably the peak of my life so let me bask in my glory…
Like all beloved Instagram couples, I thought it’d be fun to do a lil’ #monthversary and check in with y’all about what’s been going on while trying to suppress my coughs in this library because I have an exam tomorrow!
Yep, 3rd week in and I already have an exam that’s worth 25% of my mark. I’ve been BAMBOOZLED.
But, I digress.
A few people were concerned that I might feel homesick while being away from Toronto. That I should condition myself to accept that I’ll be living in Utrecht for a quite a while. Five months can both be a short and a long time, depending on how you look at it.
While I appreciate these sentiments, I rarely ever feel homesick, to be honest. This revelation is probably the most controversial thing about me.
The way I look at it, home is a feeling, not a place. Home isn’t the same thing as a house. I bet when people are homesick, they don’t actually miss the walls, the floors, the doors, the windows, and the furniture of their house. Rather, they ache for that feeling of familiarity and comfort that they feel around their friends and family.
You can build a house anywhere but that feeling of being at home isn’t tangible.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t often think of home. I love my parents and my friends BUT honestly, technology has come a long way. If I ever need to reach them, there’s FB messenger, WhatsApp, Skype, what have you.
It’s not the same thing as being in their presence, but being able to talk to them and keep them up to date with what’s happening on this side of the world is enough for me. As long as they know that I’m safe and I’m doing well, and vice versa…well, that’s what really matters.
I realized recently that I’m happiest when I’m travelling and discovering a new place. That’s when I feel the most at home. I don’t really know how to explain it — but it does remind me of a quote from Lana del Rey’s Ride Monologue:
“But there’s no use in talking to people who have a home
They have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people
For home to be wherever you lie your head”
I’ll *never* be as cool as Lana, but I do see the beauty in finding comfort in the unknown. Maybe it’s not even that deep. It’s probably just the Sagittarius in me. 😉